You became who you needed to be. It’s no longer sustainable.
Dismantling the tyranny of ‘should’, one grounded truth at a time.
Dr Anne Li, CPsychol, DPsych
Chartered Counselling Psychologist (HCPC)
Former Investment Banking Professional
Working online with clients in the UK and internationally.
Depth-oriented psychological work
You are capable, reliable, and often the one others depend on. From the outside, things work. What begins to shift is not competence, but the effort required to sustain it.
What once felt like strength, being composed, self-sufficient, and in control, now feels harder to maintain. The same patterns persist, even when you can see them clearly.
There is a growing sense of pressure, strain, or disconnection in how you relate to yourself and others, and to the direction of your life.
This is the point where insight alone is no longer enough to create change.
I work with high-performing professionals across finance, law, technology, and the creative industries, many of whom are navigating significant internal pressure beneath outward success.
If this feels familiar, we can begin with an initial consultation.
Friction points in high-pressure lives
“I’M DOING WELL, BUT IT NEVER REALLY FEELS LIKE ENOUGH.”
Holding yourself to a high standard has become second nature. The pressure rarely switches off. Even when you stop, your mind keeps going, reviewing, anticipating, adjusting.
Rest doesn’t fully land. There’s a background tension, a sense of being slightly on edge, as though you are one step away from getting something wrong.
“MY RELATIONSHIPS FEEL STRAINED, EVEN WHEN I CARE DEEPLY.”
You want closeness, but something feels effortful or out of balance. Conversations feel charged and harder than they should be, even when nothing is obviously wrong.
You find yourself over-giving, overthinking, or taking responsibility for how others feel. The same patterns repeat, leaving you feeling frustrated, distant, or not fully met.
“I’M NOT SURE WHO I AM OUTSIDE THE ROLES I PERFORM.”
You have learned to adapt to the expectations of family, culture, or success. It works, but it leaves less room to feel and know your own needs and desires.
There’s a sense of moving between versions of yourself, uncertain what you actually want, or of something missing beneath a life that appears full.
How this work is different
This work begins where insight and strategy stop leading to change. The difficulty is not simply in what you do, but in the underlying patterns shaping how you think, relate, and organise yourself. These often sit outside awareness, even when their effects are clear.
For high-performing professionals, this is where approaches focused on performance, problem-solving, or symptom relief tend to fall short.
Rather than adding further strategies or refining how you function, the work turns toward understanding how these internal dynamics are structured and what continues to sustain them.
As this becomes clearer, change emerges through a shift in how you experience and respond, not through effort or control alone.
The aim is not simply to cope more effectively, but to develop a way of functioning that is more stable, less effortful, and internally coherent.
This creates the conditions for clearer decisions, more ease in relationships, and a more grounded sense of self.
You can read more about the approach in How I Work.
How change happens
Internal pressure → greater choice
Over-functioning → more flexible relating
Insight alone → embodied change
The work is not strictly linear, but often moves through recognisable stages. It unfolds through attention to what emerges, rather than following a fixed sequence.
You can read a more detailed exploration of how change unfolds here.
01
Mapping
Identifying the patterns shaping how you think, relate, and respond.
02
Formulation
Understanding how these patterns developed, what they protect, and how they continue to organise your experience.
03
Intervention
Working with these dynamics as they arise, so different responses become possible in the moment.
04
Integration
Embedding these shifts into everyday life so they hold across decisions, relationships, and work.
Psychological intensives
At times, something reaches a point where it can no longer be held within the rhythm of weekly sessions. This may be a period of acute pressure, a relationship dynamic that feels difficult to step out of, or a decision that carries significant weight. It may also be a sense of being caught in a pattern that has not shifted, despite sustained reflection or ongoing work.
Psychological intensives offer a more focused and continuous space to engage directly with what is happening.
→ Learn more about Psychological Intensives
Ways of working together
The work is offered in a small number of focused formats, depending on what is needed.
While each format serves a different purpose, they often touch on the same underlying patterns, particularly for high-performing professionals navigating performance, relationships, and identity.
The different ways of working are supported by a depth-oriented, integrative approach, which you can read more about in How I Work.
The most appropriate way of working is clarified through an initial consultation.
DEPTH-ORIENTED WORK (INDIVIDUAL THERAPY)
ONGOING WORK, TYPICALLY WEEKLY
For those seeking sustained, in-depth work.
This format engages directly with the patterns shaping how you relate to yourself, others, and your work. The focus is not only on what is happening, but on what organises it, what maintains it, and why it persists even when understood.
As this becomes clearer, change begins to emerge in a more integrated and lasting way, rather than through effort or insight alone.
FOCUSED CONSULTATION
SINGLE SESSION OR SHORT-TERM WORK
For those seeking clarity on a specific issue, decision, or recurring pattern.
These sessions offer a more concentrated space to think carefully about what is happening and to understand the dynamics at play with greater precision. The shift often comes not from advice, but from seeing the situation differently and more clearly.
This may remain a standalone piece of work, or extend into ongoing work where appropriate.
LEADERSHIP & EXECUTIVE WORK
ONGOING OR TIME-LIMITED WORK
For professionals navigating leadership, visibility, and organisational complexity.
As roles become more senior, demands shift. Decisions carry greater weight, more is held than can be shared, and the space for uncertainty narrows.
The work focuses on how these pressures are carried, in decisions, in relationships, and in how authority is experienced. The aim is to develop a way of operating that can hold complexity without constant strain.
→ Learn more about Leadership & Executive Work
About
I am a Counselling Psychologist with a background in investment banking and the creative industries. This informs my understanding of performance, identity, and internal pressure, especially in environments where capacity is prioritised and difficulty is less easily acknowledged.
This perspective shapes how I think about difficulty, not as something to remove, but as something to understand in context.
As a British Chinese clinician, my work is attuned to themes of racial identity, belonging, and expectation, shaped across cultures or within family systems where they are not spoken about directly. Having lived and worked across different countries, I am also aware of how people move between roles, environments, and cultural frameworks, and the tension that can occur when these do not fully align.
My work is integrative and tailored, drawing on relational, cognitive-behavioural, somatic, and existential approaches. It involves close attention to how patterns are organised and enacted, including within the therapeutic relationship itself, and how they shape self-perception and relationships.
How we learn to protect ourselves
At the core of this work is the understanding that the ways we think, feel, and respond are shaped early on, within the environments in which we grow up. When needs for safety, stability, attention, or acceptance are not fully met, we adapt, often in ways that are not consciously chosen.
These adaptations begin as survival strategies to feel secure or to belong. They are not only beliefs but patterns ingrained in the body, affecting how we feel, react, and connect. They can support achievement, control, and belonging, but over time, may begin to constrict life and our relationships. What once helped us cope can become a barrier to potential and freedom.
This work creates space to recognise these structures, so they no longer organise us in the same way, and new ways of responding can emerge.
Professional Credentials
Doctorate in Counselling Psychology (DPsych)
Chartered Psychologist (CPsychol), British Psychological Society
Registered Practitioner Psychologist, Health and Care Professions Council (HCPC)
Over 14 years’ clinical experience across the NHS and private practice
Selected Writings
Burnout in high-achievers: When you can no longer sustain who you’ve been
Burnout is not always about doing too much. It often emerges when the way you have learned to function, efficiently, reliably, at a high standard, begins to come at a cost you can no longer ignore.
The high-achiever in love: On competence, control, and the difficulty of being met
Dating and early-stage relationships rely on uncertainty, emotional risk, and incomplete information. For those used to clarity and control, this can make connections feel harder to navigate.
Fees
DEPTH-ORIENTED WORK
(INDIVIDUAL THERAPY)
£180
50 minutes
FOCUSED
CONSULTATION
£340
90 minutes
LEADERSHIP & EXECUTIVE WORK
Fees are structured according to scope and format, and are discussed during the initial consultation.
PSYCHOLOGICAL INTENSIVES
Intensives are arranged on a case-by-case basis. Fees reflect the depth and extended format of the work.
I work primarily with self-funding clients, and with a select number of insurers including Allianz, Aviva, Bupa Global, Cigna, Healix, Vitality, and WPA.
I am not currently accepting Bupa UK referrals.
Questions?
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The first step is to arrange an initial consultation. This offers space to discuss what has brought you here and to consider whether working together feels like the right fit.
We can also think about the most appropriate way of working at this stage.
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The initial consultation is a chance to discuss what has brought you here and to get a sense of how I work.
It is not an assessment in a formal sense, but a space to begin thinking together and to consider whether this feels like a useful way of working.
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I work with thoughtful, high-functioning professionals who experience significant internal pressure despite appearing capable and successful from the outside.
Common areas of work include anxiety, burnout, perfectionism, and a persistent sense of pressure or self-doubt. This may be accompanied by overthinking, difficulty switching off, or a sense that achievement does not bring the expected relief.
Some people seek support around relationships, including patterns of over-responsibility, difficulty setting boundaries, or emotional distance. Others come with questions of identity, direction, or meaning, particularly at points of transition.
The work often focuses less on isolated symptoms and more on the patterns that sit beneath them.
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Many capable and thoughtful people are used to relying on their own insight and resilience.
This work offers a different kind of space: one where you can think openly with someone trained to notice patterns, emotional dynamics, and relational themes that are often difficult to see from the inside.
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Therapy focuses more explicitly on emotional experience, relational patterns, and the impact of past and present experiences on how you think, feel, and relate. It often involves working at depth over time.
Coaching is typically more focused on current challenges, decision-making, and forward movement.
In practice, the distinction is not always clear-cut. Many of the challenges people face are shaped by underlying patterns that influence both performance and relationships.
My coaching work is informed by clinical training, allowing us to work with both outcomes and underlying dynamics where relevant.
If you are unsure which is the better fit, we can think about this together.
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Ongoing work is typically weekly, with 50-minute sessions.
In some cases, we may work in a more focused way through extended consultations, depending on what is most appropriate.
The length of the work varies. Some people come for a defined period around a specific issue, while others choose to continue for longer to explore patterns in greater depth.
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Yes. Sessions are held online via secure video, allowing you to attend from home or while travelling.
Online work can be just as effective as in-person work for many people, and often offers greater flexibility.
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I am registered with selected insurance providers, including Allianz, Aviva, Bupa Global, Cigna, Healix, Vitality, and WPA.
If you intend to use insurance, please check the details of your policy in advance and mention this when making your enquiry.
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Yes. This is a confidential space. What you share will not be disclosed without your permission, except in rare circumstances where there is a legal or ethical duty to ensure safety.
Let’s Talk.
TAKE THE FIRST STEP TOWARD SOMETHING DIFFERENT
If something here has felt familiar, you’re welcome to arrange an initial consultation.